Divorce For Dummies by John Ventura, Mary Reed

By John Ventura, Mary Reed

For the reason that Divorce For Dummies, 2d variation released in 2005, there were substantial adjustments in collaborative divorces, universal legislations marriages, comparable intercourse marriages, visitation, or even custody legislation (from young ones to pets). Divorce For Dummies, third version comprises 25 percentage new, revised, and refreshed fabric protecting all the above.

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Chapter 1: Divorce Fundamentals You may be married without realizing it In some states, you may be married in the eyes of the law if you live with someone long enough (although no state defines just how long “long enough” is) and meet other state criteria, like the two of you have been holding yourselves out as married, you file joint income taxes, or you have plans to marry eventually. Such an arrangement is called a common-law marriage and provides you and your common-law spouse all the same rights and obligations as any other couple in your state who were married formally in a civil or a religious ceremony.

Mediation has a couple of advantages. First, it can be a good way to address very specific problems that are playing havoc with your marriage, like arguments over who should do which household chores, how to share childcare responsibilities, or what to do with your money. However, mediation is not appropriate if your marriage has a host of problems or if your problems are emotionally complex. Another important advantage of mediation is its low cost. It’s relatively inexpensive and considerably cheaper than getting a divorce.

Therapy can help you get a handle on any emotions you are feeling that might make it impossible for you to use mediation — like feeling angry with your spouse or wanting revenge for something your spouse said or did to you. Mediation is about mutual understanding, cooperation, and problem-solving; it’s not about winning. But like the tango, mediation takes two. So, if one of you is unwilling to give mediation a try, it’s not a viable option for trying to save your marriage. To find a mediator who’s experienced in helping couples resolve marriagerelated issues, look in the business pages of your local phone book under “Mediation” or contact the Association for Conflict Resolution, which can provide you with information about mediating marital problems and refer you to family mediators in your area.

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